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Sitting With Your Emotions:What Your Therapist Means and How to Do It

By Kamron (Taylor) Melton - Therapy for Black Girls


If you’ve ever been in therapy or had a heart-to-heart with someone who’s big on emotional growth, you might have heard the phrase “sit with your emotions.” At first, it might sound like a vague, even frustrating, instruction. Sit with them? What does that even mean? Should I just stare into space until the feelings pass? How long does this sitting take, exactly?


While it’s tempting to avoid our emotions or push them aside, learning to sit with them is a powerful step in understanding yourself better, healing, and fostering emotional resilience. Let’s break down what it really means, why it’s important, and how you can practice it.


What Does “Sit With Your Emotions” Mean?


“Sitting with your emotions” is about acknowledging and accepting your feelings instead of avoiding, suppressing, or judging them. It’s the practice of creating space to feel what you’re feeling without rushing to fix it or make it go away.


Here’s what it doesn’t mean:


• It’s not about wallowing or spiraling into a feeling until it overtakes you.


• It’s not about finding a solution to the problem right away.


• It’s not about judging yourself for having the feeling in the first place.


Instead, it’s about observing your emotions with curiosity and compassion. Imagine you’re a host, and your emotions are unexpected guests. You don’t have to cater to them endlessly, but you do have to acknowledge that they’ve shown up.


Why Is It Important to Sit With Your Emotions?


Emotions are part of the human experience, and each one carries information about what you’re going through and what you need. When you avoid them, they don’t actually disappear—they just find another way to show up. Suppressed emotions can turn into physical symptoms (like headaches or fatigue), heightened anxiety, or behaviors like snapping at someone or binge-watching shows for days.


Sitting with your emotions helps you:


• Understand yourself better: It gives you clues about your triggers, needs, and patterns.


• Reduce emotional intensity: Feelings often lose some of their power when they’re acknowledged.


• Build resilience: Facing emotions instead of avoiding them helps you feel more capable of handling life’s ups and downs.


How to Sit With Your Emotions


If you’re new to this practice, it can feel uncomfortable at first. Here’s how to start:


1. Create a Safe Space


Find a quiet spot where you won’t be interrupted. This could be a cozy chair, your bed, or even your car. Having a calm, neutral environment can make it easier to focus.


2. Name What You’re Feeling


Start by identifying the emotion. Are you sad, angry, frustrated, anxious, or maybe a mix of several feelings? Give your emotions names—this alone can be grounding.


Example: “I feel hurt because of what my friend said,” or “I’m anxious about tomorrow’s meeting.”


3. Check In With Your Body


Emotions often show up physically. Maybe your chest feels tight, your stomach is in knots, or your shoulders are tense. Notice these sensations without trying to change them.


4. Observe Without Judgment


Treat your feelings like passing clouds. They’re not good or bad—they just are. Avoid saying things like “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “This is silly.” Instead, try, “This is what I’m feeling right now, and that’s okay.”


5. Ask What the Emotion Wants You to Know


Emotions often carry messages. Ask yourself:


• What triggered this feeling?


• What need is this emotion pointing to? (e.g., Do I need rest, comfort, or boundaries?)


6. Let the Feeling Be


You don’t need to “fix” the feeling right away. Simply allow it to exist. This might mean sitting quietly, journaling, or taking a few deep breaths. Remember, emotions are temporary—they rise, peak, and eventually fade.


What If It Feels Overwhelming?


Sometimes, sitting with emotions can feel intense, especially if they’ve been buried for a while. If this happens:


• Take a break: It’s okay to step away and come back later.


• Ground yourself: Focus on your senses—what can you see, hear, touch, smell, and taste? This can help anchor you in the present.


• Seek support: Talk to your therapist or someone you trust. They can help you process what you’re feeling in a safe, supportive way.


Practicing Self-Compassion


One of the most important parts of sitting with your emotions is being kind to yourself. It’s not easy work, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Every time you allow yourself to feel, you’re making progress.


Takeaways for the Journey


Sitting with your emotions is about allowing yourself to feel without judgment. It’s a practice that takes time and patience, but it can deepen your self-awareness and emotional resilience.


If you’re navigating difficult emotions or want more guidance, Therapy for Black Girls has a directory of licensed therapists ready to support you. Join the conversation in our Sister Circle community at community.therapyforblackgirls.com, where we share experiences and tips for emotional well-being.


Remember: emotions are visitors, not permanent residents. By sitting with them, you allow yourself to grow, heal, and move forward with intention.





Melton, K. (T.). (2025, January 27). Sitting with your emotions: What your therapist means and how to do it. Therapy for Black Girls.

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